This candle is lit for Barbara C. May her battle with ALS be fought with dignity, courage, grace, and the wisdom of the truth she carries in her heart. May she find peace and comfort through the blessing of family and friends. And may she continue to find herself surrounded by divine love she knows all too well. And may the spirit of giving she directed to her family find itself directed toward Barbara as she she moves ahead. Many blessing of love and strength light this candle. <3
Tonight I received some sad news about someone I have great love and admiration for as a human being. Her name is Barbara. I met her as my former landlord, but to just call her that is an injustice to the true friendship we developed. Anyone who knew Barbara and I together knew that we’d end up talking for over an hour easily! And most times I went up to let her know I watered the lawn already. Those simple run up the stairs turned into talks about politics, family, religion, the law of attraction, or dogs! It got to the point that I’d avoid running up the stairs if I knew I had someone where to be. It wasn’t easy to just “relay info” because it always turned into more meaningful conversations. Barbara and I had our sticking points as most people do. The most famous was when I first moved in and she came marching down the stairs accusing my friends and I of smoking pot. I informed her that I don’t smoke pot, not my thing and as quickly as she accused, she came right back down to make a heartfelt sincere apology. That was Barbara. She’d impulsively act, and always sincerely retract. At times, it got to me but you learn about people. And when you learn you find love bridges the gaps because we’re all on this journey together. The conversations Barbara and I had kept us outside swatting at the mosquitoes that would dive bomb us at the sun set, and we’d take it inside. That is how much we enjoyed our talks. Those talks are in my heart. I find her life fascinating. And from her experiences, views and outlooks I have learned and gained insight. I have grown from knowing Barbara.
The greatest of Barbara is in her strength to care for her family. The reason I moved out was because she needed to convert the upstairs into a home for her daughter who had a stroke in her late teens which left her paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Barbara has dedicated her life to taking care of her daughter. And despite this challenge her daughter was able to have a child, a home and a husband. But the marriage didn’t work out and so she moved in upstairs at Barbara’s house and Barbara took the downstairs, which was where I lived.
For the three and a half years I lived there I watched Barbara work long hours, come home, and go to her daughter’s house to help with things. Day in and day out this has been Barbara’s routines. She would take her daughter and her daughter’s son on vacation, to shows, you name it. She gave her life to her.
Her dedication has been an inspiration of love. I have learned a lot from her strength. And tonight, I received an e-mail from Barbara informing me she has a new battle. She has been diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. A very brief description of the disease is that something is attacking her nerves and destroying them at the neuron level. The disease is progressive, has no cure, and the time line is very unique to each patient, so it is impossible to know how fast or slow the progression will be, or exactly which symptoms she will have when, but I do know it appears to be happening fast. She now needs to walk with the assistance of a walker, and is being fitted for an electric wheelchair. Her symptoms started in January and 5 months later she can’t walk on her own.
I know Barbara she is a tough lady. She was in the military, widowed, has an adult daughter she takes care of, and now she has her own battle. If I could explain to you the remarkable life this woman has had and the stories she has shared with me, you might know why this has hit me hard, but I assure you she will handle this with grace and from it she will grow leaps and bounds.
The blessing in all of this is that the disease will not affect her mentally. She will still be the same Barbara inside, thankfully. I share this in hopes that you might know a little bit about Barbara and from this keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
This will be a challenge for her and her family. I plan on stopping by there tomorrow night and offering any help I can since I will be 10 minutes down the road, but for anyone reading this could you take on minute right now and pray form strength and guidance for Barbara and her family, it would mean a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and opening your hearts and mind to someone who has given so much, it is her time to now receive the same love and dedication.
Many blessings of love, light, and serenity to you, Barbara. I love you and you are in my heart. God bless.
I have been in my mind for many years and out of my mind I have discovered my heart living within the walls of my thoughts. Thoughts are the creation of the physical world realized into existence. But the heart, the feelings that arise are universal and exist within the very life of creation. Feelings direct us toward love if we surrender the thoughts that divide and be in the feelings of love that rise from the heart and think on these alone. The truth of the heart is spoken in silence and stillness within the mind. Meditate on the heart. Meditate on the mind serving the heart within a mission of love; the mind being the child and the heart being the wise sage. There is no need for the mind to defend the heart. Our anger to fight our wrongs is not the heart’s battle but the mind, and the mind alone. Divided from the heart the mind is a warrior battling the demons of the world. But within the heart we are strong. Stronger than the world, the heart carries source and is eternally moved to grow without boundaries –yet, the mind would gladly create boundaries for the heart to live within. Building a fortress to protect the heart, the mind enslaves the heart. And as the walls grow big, the heart lives in shadows and darkness covers its skin. And in darkness a frost develops and the heart finds itself scared and alone. And in the cracks of the walls fear embeds itself, digging in like thorns—eventually wounding the heart. The mind living with the best intentions forgets its place and masters nothing but rules over all. This is the way of the unaware mind lacking discipline to see itself out of its own prison. How does it escape? Just by remembering the love of the heart and feeling life, the life of the heart, the truth of the heart –letting the heart be. Oh my heart! Thank you for being my mind’s greatest teacher, for allowing it to let go and let source live within its valleys and hills. Thank you for shining light on every dark corner within the deepest crevasses of my mind’s past. Thank you for being the life within and reminding me the greatest words spoken are the words you share in me, in love. I have no regret for ever speaking from my heart. The gifts of the heart are true and your words are my life –thank you heart. Thank you for showing me that your wounds don’t come from another human being, but from the thoughts my mind creates from another’s words or actions. My mind is where wounds reside when I let my mind be in its noise and forget to pay attention to your silent wisdom—the feelings—as I recall your truth. Do not let me forget your truth. Into my mind I place a moment of stillness to reflect on your truth when the world is pressing on my mind and speaking to its fears and worries. Let the feelings of your truth amplify beyond the noise so I may see the light of love shining through the darkness and covering me in a soft blanket of calmness, if only for a moment to awaken my mind from its own uncertainty. Living in my heart’s truth, I am certain I am loved because I am the source of all love. Within me the universe is alive—and that life is alive in you as well. Live in truth by quieting the mind and allow it to live within source and within the temple of the heart. I love my mind…oh how calm you have become since I have learned to live outside your walls and you have surrendered your fight to be in peace–although you forget time to time–you allow the heart to calm your noise and to this I am grateful. Blessings to a wonderful mind!
A Remembrance to the Living
Today
I’ve found
My voice
Among
The dead
Their songs
Fill my
Ears as
Their memories
Envelop my
Lungs—
Breath of
The first
Breath of
The last
Names
Without
Faces
Souls
Without
Bodies
Rise in
My heart
Their spirits
Move among
The roots
Below and
Hold vigil in
The depth of
Old trees
Wearing
Wrinkles of
Bark to
Hide the
Sorrow of
Lost life
Within
The stillness of
This moment
I am
Reminded that
Life is
Short and
Happiness is
Not a puzzle to
Put together but
To be lived
Now
Now…
What if
What I
See is
An illusion?
What if
The dead do
Walk among us
And here
Before me is
A celebration of
Life—
The conquering of
Death in
The spring blooms in
The melody of
Sparrows in
Love—
Small petal
Buttercups breaking
Soil and
Budding
Cherry blossoms of
Delight freckle
Against
The blue sky?
What if
The soul isn’t
Lost but
Has been
Writing
These words with
Me?
What if
My life has
Already rose
Up from
The ground to
Meet
This day and
Here I sit
Remembering
The journey?
What if?
All around me
I see
Souls
Alive—
No one is resting in the ground.
The tomb is
For the living but
Those who are
Alive never
See it.
Rest on this…
We live to
Never see
Death when
We remember
We are
Alive-
The grave digger only digs a hole
What we put in it is our choice—
I rest in
Life and
Thank
The living for
This remembrance.
A Good Friday Message
“Giving our Lives for the Greater Good of All”
By Christa A. Lamb
When it’s just me in my car, there are two things you can be certain of, one, there will almost always be music playing, and two, I will be singing along with it! Driving home after getting my morning tea on Good Friday, April 6, 2012, the song “Tuesday Morning” by Melissa Etheridge came on my shuffle. I was singing with passion, feeling the words reaching out from my heart, and then a great realization came to me, “This song is so fitting for Good Friday.”
“Tuesday Morning” is about the heroism of the passengers who took over flight 93 which crashed in a field in Pennsylvania killing all aboard. But it focuses on one man named Mark Bingham, a gay man, who helped retake the plane and prevented the potential deaths of hundreds of people in Washington DC. No matter what rights he had been denied simply because he was gay, on that flight, on that day, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was doing what was right in his heart. Saving the lives of other people regardless of race, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, and all four people gave their lives for others. And in the process they showed us what it means to love our neighbors, and even our enemies. Those four heroes were with Christ that day, even if they didn’t believe in the modern day version of Christ, inside Christ was there. Some might argue it’s not enough, you must believe in Christ, but it is enough to just be Christ-like, because to be Christ-like is to know God inside.
On Good Friday, this is the lesson Jesus Christ taught. On this day a man knew God within and listened. He laid down his life for a greater good. He allowed his human life to be taken, abused, and hung up on a cross so many could watch his suffering. And he did suffer. Yet, in his suffering he called out to God, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” He didn’t give commandments that he himself didn’t practice. His “enemies” did the best they could to make a mockery of him, dividing up his belongings before his life had ended, and hanging a sign above his head “King of Jews”. They didn’t take him serious. He was just a rebel rouser. Some might say, he was a biblical Occupier. Misunderstood by those who weren’t ready to understand the deeper message he was teaching, but completely understood by those ready to do the work of change.
Jesus Christ is still on the cross. He is used as justification to support prejudice and intolerance against a diverse group of people. And what is striking about this fact is the one thing Jesus had, more than anything was tolerance for people, just not injustice. Turning over the tables in the temple was an act of civil disobedience against the money lenders who were taking advantage of people by charging high rates to trade in their money for temple money. And they were doing it in God’s house. He stood up for prostitutes, lepers, the poor and sick. He was led by what he knew inside, that God was with him. And God resided in the true temple, the temple of the Heart.
Christians are led to believe that the only way to God is to believe in Christ. To reach out our hands and pronounce Christ our savior. But if this were true, Peter would never have fallen in the water. Yes, Christ took him out of the water when he fell, but what were Christ’s words directly after, he said, “Why did you doubt?”
Here’s the whole account: Mathew 14:25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Jesus never said, “Why did you doubt in me?” He said plainly, “Why did you doubt?” If Peter didn’t believe in the Christ, he wouldn’t have called to him. It wasn’t enough to believe in Jesus. Peter fell despite his belief, because Peter didn’t believe in himself. He didn’t believe in God within. He believed in God without, meaning the only way to God was to reach out to Jesus, and this is why Jesus is so important, even today. His actions showed us where to look for God, within. And yet, we still reach out begging for his hand to bring us in. How long will we continue to doubt where the true God lives? Jesus walked on water because he didn’t need to believe beyond God within. He knew himself. He knew God. This is the message.
When Jesus said, “I am the way.” He meant his actions. He taught a grand lesson we are still struggling to master some two thousand years later. Where does God reside? I suppose its tough for some people to fathom that God is within. And it may depend on what your definition of God is, but if I were to be Christ-like I’d have to say, “God is love,” inside me. This I am sure of. The two commandments Christ left are Love God and love your neighbor.
As he says: John 15:9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
God is love. It is not all that God is but it is a whole piece of God within us. And to believe in Christ is to believe in God within us. Or to believe in God within is to believe in Christ, because God is not separate from His own love. He is His love. And God so loved the world he gave His own son. Yet, the story doesn’t stop there.
When we believe in God within our own selves, we are embracing the best of ourselves. The question should be, “Are we going to keep reliving the worst of ourselves?” Every year, Good Friday comes and many faithful Christians will go into a church and hear about the torture inflicted on Jesus Christ. And some might blame the Jews. Others, might blame themselves and believe they are not worthy of God’s grace but because of Christ they receive it. Still others might stretch it completely out of context and blame gays, blacks, Muslims, you name it. But most people hear the passion story and are moved to tears because they truly love Jesus. They believe. They have a personal relationship. And it’s beautiful. It is a relationship to be cherished. No one can take that away, nor should anyone try.
The question I have is this, we can keep reliving the worst of human nature year after year by reminding ourselves of the bodily abuse Jesus endured, or we can rise up with him off the cross and embrace the Spirit of Christ that is the best of human nature. The choice is ours. Ritual can be beautiful. Tradition is special, but how long do we keep going over the same violence? Didn’t he suffer enough? Take him off the cross and look at the deeper message of his ministry. He didn’t die. He is alive in God’s Love within. And when we practice his commandments, we resurrect Him in the Spirit of God’s Love. Christ is alive in love! And what we do in love, we do in Christ’s name, and in memory of Jesus’ actions here on earth.
This brings me back to the song “Tuesday Morning.” I would love to see Good Friday turn into something beyond just living out the passion story. It is good to remember and I am not suggesting we forget his suffering. I am suggesting we honor him by moving forward. I would love to see the greater message of Christ on a Cross shine on, spotlighting all those people who gave there lives’ for the greater good of humanity to be remembered a long side Christ, because there they stand.
And Jesus would never reject anyone because of their sexual orientation. His question would be, “Did you love?” And knowing their answer, yes, in God’s love they remain. Christ helped the spiritual blind to see. And he helped those who could see, see they are still blind. We are not perfect, but it is within our imperfect we triumph because what we have is the ability to live this life in love. And when we discover the temple within, we have a never ending supply of love to bring us up out of the water. We don’t need to hold on to Jesus in order to believe we can create miracles; we just need to believe we, too, have God within. To know Christ is to know his secret, he was showing us the way. Yes, he is the way, but through action. And this is why I call Jesus Christ my friend.
Jesus Christ is my friend because when I came out as a lesbian at the age of 19, he showed me love is never wrong. And it was through practicing unconditional love for those who didn’t understand my intimate relationship with another woman that ultimately I grew in God’s love. Even when the worldly church tried to show me otherwise, Christ showed me that I am loved because of my ability to love. He showed me God within, and I have not stopped looking inward to hear the voice of truth since that day. I follow the love in my heart, and it is this love that leads the way. I am blessed to have a friend who was willing to lay down his life for me in order to show me what true love and sacrifice is all about, but I love him too much to keep him up on that cross year after year. He only needs to be resurrected in the Love of God. And that is eternal.
It’s hard work to be Christ-like. And it might be easier to just say, “I believe” and let belief do all the work, but it’s the knowing within that allows us the strength to work upon our better nature. Yes, hard decisions have to be made for the greater good, and in these moments love is needed more than ever. Love to make the right choice. Love to heal the wounds. Love to carry on. But in the end, it is always love that pulls us out of the stormy waters.
And like Jesus, it is love that that allows us the ability to lay down our lives for others even in the face of suffering. And it doesn’t mean we don’t doubt or that we must die. It means we give our lives to the service of others. It means we follow our hearts because we know the Spirit of Humanity is unconditional love. To live and die for our better nature, to be the capstone the builders reject because we take a stand for the greater good, this is what it means to be in love. It means we know where our strength resides, and that strength is in the love we share with God, with Christ, and with each other.
Like Christ, we can create miracles. All we have to do is look within and believe beyond the voice of doubt. We can make the difference if we reach out in unconditional service of others. And when we do, we learn a valuable lesson; we learn we are all One if we believe in the unfailing love that exists within. Within us is a temple of love erected to serve as a monument of hope and truth. Just believe and the greatest miracle of all will be the one where you become like Christ and help to heal the world for each other, for all life. Believe within.
Frozen fingers
Rest on
A key board
Feeling
The moment
Rise up
To meet
The words
Stopped by
The silence of
No more
Stillness in
Memory
And footsteps
Vanish into
The back of
A closet
Where dust
Settles in
And life
Forges
New
Imprints
Oh how
I wish
Tomorrow
Oh how
I dream
Today
To close
Eyes and
Awaken to
A different
Rising of
The sun—
Hearing
The voice of
Love beckoning
Me down
Winding stairs as
Light
Breaks
Shadow to
Release
The cold
Floor from
Its winter
Shell
Oh how
Intensely
The mind
Can see
What the
Heart
Yearns to
Feel
And
In this
Vision
You
Appear as
I turn
The corner in
My life to
Meet your
Smile and
Gentle
Gaze with
Arms
Wrapping
Around your
Waist
Encircling
You with
My strength as
My chin
Rests on
Your shoulder
And I
Breathe in
Truth of
Comfort of
Love of
This unconditional
Love affair of
Imagination so
Real that
I smile in
Thought of
You
I dream
You into
Existence as
I dream
My soul into
Creation
To be is
To believe
I may be
To live is
To dream
I am alive in
Love
Ah, I see
Your smile
And I am
Lifted to
A greater
Moment of
Seeing
You in
My soul in
My vision in
My dreams
I love
You again
But in
This moment
I am not
Pretending to
Be in
Love but
I am being
In love to
Remind
Myself that
Love is
Beyond
Waiting—
It is living
This moment into
Existence
And you
My love
Who
Waits for
Me to
Awaken
Listen to
My footsteps as
They
Draw close
And I promise
I will find
You in
The light
Beyond
The shadows of
My heart and
I will be
Yes, be alive
In love with
You and
Speak to
Your heart with
A tender
Voice that
Reminds
You—
I am not a dream.
I am here.
And these arms are real.
All you have to do is dream now…
Yes dream
Dream me into
Existence too
And I will
Meet you in
This moment of
Dreaming of
Loving of
Living
What has
Always been
Real—
I am real and
Tomorrow is
Coming and
The sun will
Rise
Again
